Embracing Change: A Faith Journey Through Alopecia

October 1998

Me: Why God? Why me? I’m a hairdresser for Pete’s sake, and the doctor just told me I have alopecia areata and that it’s going to get worse. I could lose it all. (Crying now, on my knees in my apartment living room.) I had the best hair in the shop! EVERYONE wants my hair! Life as a bald hairdresser? WHY???

God: I know. I know this is one of the hardest things you’ve ever faced. I’m here for you.  For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Me: Yeah, well, sorry - that’s cold comfort if I can be honest. I want no part of plans that involve me being bald, possibly for life.

God: I know. But I’m asking you to trust Me. For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.

Me: I’m going to quit doing hair. I can’t do this. Maybe Wegman’s Bakery is hiring. (White-knuckled death grip on the steering wheel while driving to work.)

God: I know it feels that way. Do you remember when you were ready to graduate high school and your parents had no money to send you to college? You had no idea what to do. I had Annette in art class tell you about that essay contest she saw in the newspaper that the beauty school was having, and you entered, won it and got a free ride. Your favorite teacher even pulled you aside one day to say you had a bright future in this field. I took care of you then and I’ll take care of you now. Trust Me.

Me: Yeah, that was pretty cool at the time. Still have that essay. But if I knew all my hair was going to fall out someday, I wouldn’t have even have gone. I’d have gone to the mall and sold cute clothes or something.

God: That was not My plan. Remember when you had a baby to support, divorced at 21, on food stamps and you became disillusioned with working Saturdays and the lack of benefits at the salon you were working in? I arranged for a social worker to suggest business school. I had her find a grant to cover the cost and you excelled. They said you were the only student to take both medical and legal secretarial studies.

Me: Only because I couldn’t decide between the two.

God: I know. And I arranged for your Accounting teacher to invite you to learn to use the computer after hours on Tuesdays and you loved it.

Me: I did - I still do. It satisfies the tech geek in me.

God: I know. And when you tried secretarial work and missed doing hair, I guided your path back into the field with every salon I led you to giving you not just more experience, but more confidence in your abilities.

Me: But to what end? Yes, I ended up so busy with over 100 regular clients and working Mondays as a salon educator and going to NYC for hair shows and loving it all - just for my hair to fall out and me hurting so bad that I want to DIE.

God: I know. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Me: Okay. I’ll try. I don’t like it. I’m angry and I’m devastated but I won’t jump off a bridge. Promise.

God: I know.

26 YEARS LATER - PRESENT TIME

God: So how’s it going?

Me: Lord, I am so incredibly blessed! I could not have imagined the path my life would take. I opened a wig shop…

God: I know.

Me: Hey, you asked so I’m telling ya. I knew that still small voice telling me to not only open it but run it as a non-profit was you, and I listened and it was great. I loved it. Then when I turned it into a business and it became the best wig shop in the area, I thought maybe it would go downhill because I had to charge more but I just kept getting busier!

God: I told you I had plans for you to give you hope and a future.

Me: Yes You did. And boy, have I been busy. It’s a different kind of fun compared to doing hair, but it is fun and it’s incredibly rewarding. I really cannot imagine doing anything else. Thanks by the way for letting me have all my hair back for that one 6 year stretch there, that was really nice. But I’ve gotta say, I’ve grown to love wigs as a form of self-expression so much that I honestly don’t care if my hair ever grows back.

God: I know. And look at all the women and children you’ve touched. They can step out and live their lives in confidence and beauty, just as you’ve learned to. But I know you, and I knew you were getting a little bored, so I took your love of tech and planted the seed to create a digital course teaching other stylists how to do what you do so well. They will go on to serve hundreds of others all over the country. As much as you’ve loved your work in the salon, this is the culmination of My plans for you.

Me: I know. Thank you Lord. You’re the Best.

If you’re a woman with hair loss, His path for you may be different, but He’s got you just the same.